#TBT, Bible, Blogging, Brooklyn, Career, Christian, Dating, emotional, faith, Family, Fear, Flatbush, Give Back, Growing Up, jesus, jesus christ, Love, Marriage, NYC, prayer, Wedding

You can’t always get what you want. And that’s not a bad thing.

Life is quite funny.

By God’s grace, D recently found a new career opportunity in NY. What this means is that after six years of what was supposed to be a year of living in New Jersey, I’m heading back to Brooklyn and taking this Jersey Boy with me. His friends think I’m elated. I’m happy, but it is bittersweet.

When I first moved here I was sad and upset at having to leave NYC, but took comfort in the fact that it would be for only a year. 365 days. When it became clear that year would extend to four, I was bitter and disappointed. Thankfully, two years into living here, I was led to my current church – a blessing God knew I needed but wouldn’t have gotten if He hadn’t moved me to the other side of the Hudson. I had been away from God for a long time before that and was slowly (think tortoise steps) finding my way back. God placed me where I could get the support of an uncompromising bible-teaching-believing-practicing pastor and fellow believers to grow in my walk with Him. Fellow believers who helped me move past the guilt of turning my back on God and accept the forgiveness He offered after I came back in broken repentance.

I am happy for this new challenge ahead of us and the opportunity to change, shape and make a real difference in the neighborhoods of my childhood, but I am sad as well. In addition to my church family, my in-laws have made Jersey a home for me. Where there was no true emotional connection to the state when I first arrived, I must say that it now holds a special place in my heart that is uniquely its own. One that even New York can’t ever touch. How can it? This is where D and I started our married life. Jersey is forever tied to those memories.

Some may not believe me, but I am very grateful for the way life turned out. I am thankful that God overruled my wants and led me to follow His will.

Would love to hear stories of how your life took a path contrary to what you wanted but that turned out to be exactly what you needed.

Proverbs 19 21

#TBT from 2011

Same old story, different couple. 20-something Brooklyn Girl enjoys the highlights and pitfalls of everyday single life without care or thought to settling down. Brooklyn Girl meets New Jersey Boy online and thinks New Jersey Boy is funny. She’ll go out with him. Time goes by and BK Girl realizes that Jersey Boy is awesome. She’ll keep going out with him. More time passes and both BK Girl and Jersey Boy realize they want to keep hanging out with each other.

Jersey Boy proposes to BK Girl after a series of comical errors. BK Girl screams “Holy Crap, We’re Engaged!” before saying yes to nervous Jersey Boy on bended knee awaiting an answer.

BK Girl makes it clear to Jersey Boy – “THERE’S NO WAY I’M MOVING TO NEW JERSEY!” Jersey Boy agrees, but secretly wonders if maybe BK Girl doesn’t understand the meaning of compromise.

Jersey Boy starts the search for NY job. And he searches…and searches…and searches. Jersey Boy realizes NY job market is a bust. Makes more sense to keep current NJ job.

Jersey Boy agonizes over how to tell BK Girl that the stress of the reverse commute would eventually cause him to drive his car off the Brooklyn Bridge. BK Girl and Jersey Boy separately contemplate living apart while married – both agree that’s probably not the best idea. Jersey Boy nervously brings up subject of moving to Jersey to BK Girl.

Seeing the writing on the wall, BK Girl makes Mandelaesque sacrifice and leaves the bright lights of NY for the humdrum life of Jersey — at least temporarily.

What was supposed to be a one year stay has now turned into three with one more to go before Jersey Boy can be settled in his field.

With humor, BK Girl tries to embrace her current refugee status while dreaming of the day she can return to her homeland.

Join her on this cross-state journey as she embraces her life in Jersey while still maintaining her New York roots.


#TBT, BlogHer, Christian, faith, NaBloPoMo, NaNoWriMo

#TBT Doubt (no, not the movie)

My first official #TBT post. A blog entry from 2011. I’ve come a long way with this journey since then; and I’ve learned that faith, like everything in my life, needs to be strengthened by prayer daily. And that’s a good thing. It means that I’m depending on God to be God. Where I am weak, He will be strong.


I’m attending a 13-week series on prayer and we’re using the book No Easy Road by Dick Eastman as the guide. I haven’t started reading the book yet (I missed the first two parts of the series), but so far the series is having a great impact on me.

The third session of this series is entitled The Peak of Unbelief. It’s about the barrier that doubt places on prayer. Something that I’ve been struggling with. It was jarring to hear that doubt, like faith, is a choice. Although I hate saying it, I sometimes find myself thinking “I can’t help it” when I don’t trust God to do what I’ve prayed about. But the truth is I’m making that choice to doubt, and not fully trust in Him. Where is my faith?

Another great point that was brought up is that when you’re constantly in fellowship with God you gain a sensitivity to what He wants for your life. As such your prayers will align with His desires for you. To answer the question ‘Where is my faith?’ (at least as it relates to prayer), it was shaken a few years ago when I failed to received something that I prayed for and wholeheartedly believed that I would receive. What I’m learning (now that I’m trying to rebuild my faith in prayer) is the truth behind praying for the things God wants for your life.  It’s very easy to be upset about the prayers God doesn’t grant us without considering whether this would have been the best thing for us.

Here are some takeaways from last night’s session. Be motivated to walk in fellowship with God, pray and TRUST that He is listening and wants to grant your requests.

Would love to hear about your prayer journey, or your journey with doubt.


Hebrews 11:6 (NLT) – It is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

“It matters little what form of prayer we adopt or how many words we use, what matters is the faith which lays hold on God and touches the heart of the Father who knew us long before we came to Him.” ——-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“Prayer projects faith on God, and God on the world. Only God can move mountains, but faith and prayer moves God.” ———- E.M. Bounds

Matthew 21:21-22 (NKJV) – So Jesus answered and said to them [disciples], “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree [cause it to whither because it did not produce fruit], but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ it will be done. And whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”

“Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is carrying the umbrella.” ———Robert C. Savage

Points to Ponder:

Why do you think doubt is so destructive to the prayer life of a believer? How can a believer build his or her faith in such a way as to diminish the impact of doubt when it comes to praying believing prayer?

Take the time in prayer to express to the Lord the things that you feel have created doubt in your walk with Jesus. Ask God to bless you with supernatural grace to pray “without fear or doubting.”