#TBT, Bible, Blogging, Brooklyn, Career, Christian, Dating, emotional, faith, Family, Fear, Flatbush, Give Back, Growing Up, jesus, jesus christ, Love, Marriage, NYC, prayer, Wedding

You can’t always get what you want. And that’s not a bad thing.

Life is quite funny.

By God’s grace, D recently found a new career opportunity in NY. What this means is that after six years of what was supposed to be a year of living in New Jersey, I’m heading back to Brooklyn and taking this Jersey Boy with me. His friends think I’m elated. I’m happy, but it is bittersweet.

When I first moved here I was sad and upset at having to leave NYC, but took comfort in the fact that it would be for only a year. 365 days. When it became clear that year would extend to four, I was bitter and disappointed. Thankfully, two years into living here, I was led to my current church – a blessing God knew I needed but wouldn’t have gotten if He hadn’t moved me to the other side of the Hudson. I had been away from God for a long time before that and was slowly (think tortoise steps) finding my way back. God placed me where I could get the support of an uncompromising bible-teaching-believing-practicing pastor and fellow believers to grow in my walk with Him. Fellow believers who helped me move past the guilt of turning my back on God and accept the forgiveness He offered after I came back in broken repentance.

I am happy for this new challenge ahead of us and the opportunity to change, shape and make a real difference in the neighborhoods of my childhood, but I am sad as well. In addition to my church family, my in-laws have made Jersey a home for me. Where there was no true emotional connection to the state when I first arrived, I must say that it now holds a special place in my heart that is uniquely its own. One that even New York can’t ever touch. How can it? This is where D and I started our married life. Jersey is forever tied to those memories.

Some may not believe me, but I am very grateful for the way life turned out. I am thankful that God overruled my wants and led me to follow His will.

Would love to hear stories of how your life took a path contrary to what you wanted but that turned out to be exactly what you needed.

Proverbs 19 21

#TBT from 2011

Same old story, different couple. 20-something Brooklyn Girl enjoys the highlights and pitfalls of everyday single life without care or thought to settling down. Brooklyn Girl meets New Jersey Boy online and thinks New Jersey Boy is funny. She’ll go out with him. Time goes by and BK Girl realizes that Jersey Boy is awesome. She’ll keep going out with him. More time passes and both BK Girl and Jersey Boy realize they want to keep hanging out with each other.

Jersey Boy proposes to BK Girl after a series of comical errors. BK Girl screams “Holy Crap, We’re Engaged!” before saying yes to nervous Jersey Boy on bended knee awaiting an answer.

BK Girl makes it clear to Jersey Boy – “THERE’S NO WAY I’M MOVING TO NEW JERSEY!” Jersey Boy agrees, but secretly wonders if maybe BK Girl doesn’t understand the meaning of compromise.

Jersey Boy starts the search for NY job. And he searches…and searches…and searches. Jersey Boy realizes NY job market is a bust. Makes more sense to keep current NJ job.

Jersey Boy agonizes over how to tell BK Girl that the stress of the reverse commute would eventually cause him to drive his car off the Brooklyn Bridge. BK Girl and Jersey Boy separately contemplate living apart while married – both agree that’s probably not the best idea. Jersey Boy nervously brings up subject of moving to Jersey to BK Girl.

Seeing the writing on the wall, BK Girl makes Mandelaesque sacrifice and leaves the bright lights of NY for the humdrum life of Jersey — at least temporarily.

What was supposed to be a one year stay has now turned into three with one more to go before Jersey Boy can be settled in his field.

With humor, BK Girl tries to embrace her current refugee status while dreaming of the day she can return to her homeland.

Join her on this cross-state journey as she embraces her life in Jersey while still maintaining her New York roots.

bklynjersey

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Brooklyn, Career, Education, Flatbush, Give Back, It takes a village, mentor, Volunteer

Are the teenage attackers in the McDonald’s violent brawl more than their horrible action?

Animals. Thugs. Savages. Worthless space in our society! Lock them all up, do society a favor.

This past week a horde of high school-aged girls viciously attacked another teenage girl in a Brooklyn McDonald’s while customers watched, many laughed and at least one recorded and uploaded the brutal act. The comments above are a sampling of thoughts and feelings posted on the Facebook page of a local news channel in response to the story.

Like many others, my first reaction was horror followed very closely by disgust. However, while reviewing various online comments on this story, I noticed an unfortunate trend that the disgust was directed not at the act, but at the girls themselves. You might wonder about the difference. To me, the names and statements directed at the girls have the power to do more harm than good.

According to Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist David Caldwell, “one’s own behavior can be altered by self-fulfilling prophecies. Referring to someone as negative or “bad” in some manner can elicit that same type of behavior, and it can affect the person’s own self-beliefs. If I believe that I am “bad”, I might act that way because I now think that is all I am capable of doing.”

In the ten plus years of working with teenagers who fit the same general profile as these girls, I have seen firsthand the destructive power of internalizing the labels of hoodlum, thug, animal, underachiever and so many more. I have seen that when expectations are set low, a number of the teens without appropriate role models in their lives, will actually seek to prove these expectations right. To the detriment of their well-being, they disregard what is right in order to own the black mark society has set on them. Think of the expression cutting one’s nose to spite one’s face.

I am not condoning their horrible behavior nor saying anyone else is to blame for their actions, but what I am saying is that we as a society should be careful not to write them off as unreachable and unredeemable. And that happens when we start to believe that they are inherently evil and stop to believe that they can be separated from their evil actions.



McDonald's Violence

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america, American, Blogging, BlogHer, December, Give Back, Inspiration, It takes a village, jesus, jesus christ, Joy, Love, NaBloPoMo, share, Uncategorized

What Will You Give? #GIVINGTUESDAY

While you never need a day to give, it’s nice to harness the power of social media to encourage generosity. The focus of #GIVINGTUESDAY is on providing financial support to amazing organizations that focus on vital social issues such as poverty, education and hunger.

I encourage you to visit Charity Navigator, GuideStar and other vetting sites to learn about the important work organizations of all sizes across this country and abroad are doing. Organizations that you can support. I also encourage you to search for nonprofits in your own neighborhood that are striving to make your community better.

While giving a financial donation is important, don’t forget that as human beings we’re built to give so much more: give your time, give a hand, give a word of encouragement, give a smile, and give an ear (actively listening to someone who just needs to talk can make a world of difference). Learn from Christ and give of yourself. There’s a #joy attached to giving that can never be measured.

Today I give

…thanks to my heavenly Father and give Him the glory that only He deserves.

…a meal to someone who would otherwise go hungry by supporting Feeding America.

…spiritual nourishment to those who need Christ by supporting my local church to spread the gospel.

…my fellow Boy Meets World dorks a smile by sharing this Buzzfeed post about Cory and Shawn’s reunion. (Still have to watch this episode.)

What will you give on this #GIVINGTUESDAY?

From: http://www.givingtuesday.org/

WHAT IS #GIVINGTUESDAY?
We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals. Now, we have #GivingTuesday, a global day dedicated to giving back. On Tuesday, December 2, 2014, charities, families, businesses, community centers, and students around the world will come together for one common purpose: to celebrate generosity and to give.

It’s a simple idea. Just find a way for your family, your community, your company or your organization to come together to give something more. Then tell everyone you can about how you are giving. Join us and be a part of a global celebration of a new tradition of generosity.

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cory and sean

december 2014

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Career, Convenient, E-mentor, E-mentoring, Flexible, Give Back, icouldbe, Inspiration, Inspire, mentor, Online mentoring, role model, Technology, Volunteer

Could You Be a Mentor?

My team and I are up to our eyeballs in work preparing for the launch of the new program year. It is an exciting time as we ready to introduce a new visually attractive and functionally enhanced version of our platform, more in-depth trainings and overall higher quality service – something we strive for daily.

But it is a very stressful time – I sit here at almost 1:00 in the morning feeling guilty that I’m not working.

Instead, I’ve spent the better part of this evening reflecting on the power of mentoring. After a lovely conversation earlier with a potential volunteer to our program, I was reminded once again why there’s so much value in the work that we do.

Our small team with a large footprint works to match caring professionals across the country with junior and high school students who are in need of mentors. In need of someone to connect with them personally, someone to cheer them on, and someone to guide them to understand the link between life in school today and life in the real world tomorrow.

I’ve been more than blessed to have had that growing up. Some kids never will. And that’s simply unacceptable.

That’s why I invite you (if you happen upon this post) to join us at iCouldBe to learn more about how your one hour a week can potentially change the course of a student’s life.

And you can do it from the convenience of your home or office. All you need is an internet-enabled computer.

Take a read through this mentor recruitment post. Who knows? It might be just what you were looking for to leave your mark on this world.


mentor

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